Funeral Thoughts EP

by Forest

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06:30
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06:53
5.

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In honor of our lost loved ones.

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released February 22, 2017

1. Stay -- vocals by Caleb Madl / Produced by Brandon Jump
2. Bill -- vocals by Caleb Madl / Produced by Caleb Madl
3. Mr. Jones -- vocals by Matt Wichtowski / Produced by Caleb Madl
4. Rainy Days -- Vocals by Caleb Madl / Produced by Caleb Madl
5. Aftermath (Hurt) -- vocals by Caleb Madl / Hurt by Johnny Cash / Produced By Caleb Madl

Artwork -- Marian De La Rosa

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Forest Elmira, New York

Twitter- @CalebMadl
@ForesttOfficial

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Track Name: Stay (Prod. Brandon Jump)
"She was never going to stay"
atlas thats what people say
people keep telling me that its going to be okay
but ii know that it will never be the same
and I know that i should probably change
my perspective
but my perspective of these suspicious people seems to be completely justified with the things that I've been seeing
and I've been seeing a lot of things lately
hypocrites preaching a certain way and then living like they've forgotten their own words
the moon is an inspiration
he's watched the darkness
night after night
after never ending nighttime fights for self worth
self worth
such peculiar words
such perfectly perilous and hopeful words
thats the way it seems to me anyways
i aspire to be like the moon
cause i couldn't go that many nights without breaking down
atlas not since you left town
i mean not since you decided that six feet underground is a better place to be
than around people like me and people that are there for you when you fall
but you didn't care about that at all did you?
you never cared about the moon did you?
you never meant to stay did you? you were always going to go away
weren't you?
you were always aching to get away from something whether it be
me, God or breathing
on January 9th i wrote a song titled just a girl
and on january 10th you made it all come true
i remember asking myself in the song
"what if I'm wrong?"
but i wasn't
now overtime i write something new
i think of you and how you'd tell me i was so innocent when i wrote
and that i was ignorant but in a cute way
which would make me uncomfortable so i'd say.
"hmmm thanks? haha"
and then you'd ask me about my day and i'd always say the sam answer
i did school, went to work, came home and wished for adventure
like i had when i was ten, i'd make up stories with my big brother who..
never finished any of our stories
.. i think i got my story telling from him
and i was with him when i got the news that you finally went away
i was 1,105 miles away
i didn't make it to your funeral
but i've written what it was like 1,106 times
with tears rushing from my eyes
screaming in my bed, why?
if you were never going to stay
then why did you come to me in the first place?
if you were always going to go away then why'd you make an effort to show me who you were?
was it all wasted time?
did i ever mean anything to you?
did you think about me or your family on that drive?
i still don't know if I'm angry or sad that you didn't try to call me one more time..

i wish you would have stayed
i wish you would have called me one more time
i wish you could have been okay
and i wish you would have said goodbye
X2
Track Name: Bill
Bill.

i was unaware,
of what was happening around
wondering,
what should I wear?

for the people all looking down

at themselves and 
at their feet

maybe they're like me
 when they look in the mirror this is all they see


mistakes, this is what's at stake

memories for the moment 
and makeup to cover your face

my face, I can't stand to look
 the things that I've done

the chances that I've took


but here's a man

a few pews ahead of me

he brings all his stuff
 cause he doesn't have a family
or home
 for him to call his own

he can barely walk 
he looks all alone
sitting there in his chair
, struggles to get up the stairs
 and needs an oxygen tank 
just to get some air,
into his lungs, how fun
 while I'm sitting here laughing 
cause someone made a joke

about shirt cause it’s stained in one spot

and has been for weeks
but it’s all that he’s got

it's just too bad,
that I never noticed

cause even though he seems hopeless

his life was specially chosen

he smiles, I wave 
i try not to be rude

he asks me about my week
 but I couldn't tell the truth

I say it was good, just worked and did school

he mentioned that I've grown, said it was so cool
 that I wrote things for people,
but that I was such a fool


because it took his heart attack for me to see

what that man that sat a few pews ahead meant to me

his coffin in front of me, 
I'm talking to myself viciously

why is this what it takes for me
 to show a sign of sympathy?
and he’s not the only one
that’s grabbed my heart,
the womans son
the boy had just pressed restart
after years, he was finally clean
he could finally breathe
but one day, just like the rest
he left this place
too many pills too much dosage
unaware that it will kill, i suppose
unaware that he would change
my life, forever
it was just aimed to cure a headache
instead leaving a scar and heartache
where will we find peace?
but i wrote my first piece
at his funeral
about the deceased
how sooner or
later we all go
how am i supposed to know
i kept going, i wrote
about loved ones and dying
lonely people, they’re crying
they’re trying not to show it
don’t want people to know it
thats me
the boy in the pavilion
wondering why,
out of seven billion
he had to go so soon
i hate what im feeling
it’s pain
cause all i did was wave
never asked about his day
or cared enough to talk and stay
and now he’s gone, and i can’t do anything
but write some more words hope that it’ll change
someday
cause tomorrows a new day
new chance and opportunities to live a different way
to show a different love to that old man down the street
who’s tryin to beat that cancer and get back on his feet
but he’s too busy dying, dying hopelessly
cause no one takes the time live selflessly
forget themselves so that maybe hopefully
a fake wave, won’t be the end of me
so im sorry bill
i didn’t take the time i should have
and i swear if i had known
that you’d be gone i would have
but thats the thing,
i guess we never know
one day they’re here
and the next they go
but it keeps happening
it keeps happening
people keep dying
we keep laughing
joke away the thoughts
pretend it doesnt hurt
find a way to cope
cover it with your shirt
hide it, hide it, hide it
don’t let anyone see
that you too are affected
by this missing piece
by this empty air
this empty atmosphere
the fear that one moment
we too could disappear
up and go
up and vanish
im not next
what are the chances?
waving hands
things that ive felt
things that ive said
things that ive did
i hate these weapons at the end of my arms
memories of ivory's, but also awful harm
bring them back
bring them back
my mind is under attack
bring them home
bring them home
they’re safe
but im alone
they’re safe,
but im alone
in a better place
why do i still feel alone
relax, just breathe
walking so slowly
look down, see his face
he’s here, but he left yesterday
he looks so nice
dressed up in a tie
eyes closed and nobody notices
the tear that falls from my eye
i miss you
i wish you
weren’t gone yet
there's things I still needed to tell you
this box is so expensive
just to never be seen again
lowered six feet under
and i never called you my friend
i should’ve called
i should’ve called
i should’ve done something different
blaming myself, i failed you that instance
i should’ve smiled
should’ve done more than wave
should’ve walked five damn feet
and just have said hey
if i had given you a coat
you wouldn’t have gotten that cold
wouldn’t have taken those pills
and i never would have known
so im sorry, i know i said that
im still wishing, you would come back
but i wont waste what you’ve given me
on fragile memories
but shine your light for all to see
so live on, through the trials
so keep on, and always smile
love now, and hate later
because later, wont always be there
i said love now, hate later
because later, won’t always be there
Track Name: Mr. Jones (ft. Matt Wichtowski)
here we are in
this same place again
I'm holding on to
what memories we have left

like January 10th
when I chased you
or August this year
when they found you


mr jones
please take care of her
in all the ways that I never could

mr jones
please don't leave her alone
mr jones
make a wonderful home

for her
for me
for her
for me

here I am again
in this same state of mind
the streak on the window
always reminds me of

all the talks
that you called naive
you always wanted to
but i thought you wouldn't leave

mr jones
please take care of her
in all the ways that I never could

mr jones
please don't leave her alone
mr jones
make a wonderful home
Track Name: Rainy Days
i hate everything i've ever written
that's why i write new words everyday
and i'm not sure if it's the coffee
but i'm missing you more than usual today

i only want to be drunk from your love
it's not wasted on me, i'm not wasted enough

and i begin to wonder
are they better off without me?

chorus
i've heard that you shouldn't take life so serious
and i've heard that it's all about experience
there is no try only do or do not
well i've tried, and found there's more to life than i thought


please don't cry it's only a scratch
it's evidence that it was a valiant fight
bind the blinds so we can't see the sun
only brings the dark places to light

i don't run up the stairs at night anymore
something about becoming an adult
but i can't stand the taste of your tears
when i know that it's all my fault

chorus
i've heard that you shouldn't take life so serious
and i've heard that it's all about experience
there is no try only do or do not
well i've tried, and found there's more to life than i thought

And i wished that i smoked
so i'd have something to take the edge from me
cause i'm standing too close
and the bottom is all that i can see

i swear i thought i saw you today
buying groceries at the store
your ghost haunts me still
i wish we would quit keeping score

chorus/outro
i've heard that you shouldn't take life so serious
and i've heard that it's all about experience
yoda said there is no try
but you tried to stay alive
Track Name: Aftermath (Hurt-JohnnyCash)
Johnny
(i hurt myself today
to see if i still feel
i focus on the pain
the only thing thats real)


i've been wondering how to move on from this same place that I'm in cause overtime i think i've escaped i find myself here again
and i wonder if this cycle is just for now or if it will ever end
and i wonder if i'll ever be new so that maybe i can get out of this skin

and i've been scared to finish these stupid songs that i wrote for you
cause i was a little nervous that someone might actually see the truth
that I'm not okay that you left and you left me without a clue and now my walls are falling down and i have no idea what to do

and i can't stand this weather and the way that it drags me down
i mean the rain is okay but it could be better, way better than it is right now
cause i hate the sun but i haven't seen it since you left this town
now those songs that i wrote last summer when you left are the only sound

i think i've been staring at my dreams for too long my neck is starting break
and i've been bending over backwards for a day job waiting to catch a break
i know life not about feelings but i wish i felt a different way
because once everything is stripped away i still feel so afraid



distraction my captain
take my mind to another place
show me the world and all its riches but don't leave me in this retched place
don't show me the hurt and the confusion
that I know can swallow me whole
don't show me the beauty of a word
that I know has drowned so many other helpless victims
don't
don't let me hear their cries as I try not to let it bother me
don't let me see their blood that seems to seep into this empty room
don't let me smell their rotting dreams that were placed in storage until they grew up

distraction my captain
take me far to another place
onto dry land
because this sea has laid waste
to the wooden ships that would pass by your island
day after day after day after.
these days seem to grow long
or maybe short, since the sea sunk our ship it's been difficult to keep track
but it hasn't been difficult to remember that grey day that was a vessel for your departure
how could I forget it?

distraction my captain
don't go don't go don't go
don't take that route home
this is home can't you see that?
why'd you go.?

distraction my captain
this carpet can't cover these scars
I tried to replace your missing presence with joy
but it's escaped again and again now it seems too far
it seems to have taken off with you even though you told me time and again that you never had anything to do with the damn thing

distraction my captain
this is my distraction from you
for you are gone
you left this sunken wooden ship and went to your island without me
you showed me all the things I didn't want to see
and you took a stranger
or a stranger took you-at least you didn't leave alone I suppose
so here in this final bottle I send to you,

as I sink slowly for the final time

don't forget me
don't be angry that I'm angry
release your rope-I mean your hands from my neck
because I can't miss you if I'm dead
and I do miss you

but I think, my captain
that my time has come