Stay (Prod. Brandon Jump)

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"She was never going to stay"
atlas thats what people say
people keep telling me that its going to be okay
but ii know that it will never be the same
and I know that i should probably change
my perspective
but my perspective of these suspicious people seems to be completely justified with the things that I've been seeing
and I've been seeing a lot of things lately
hypocrites preaching a certain way and then living like they've forgotten their own words
the moon is an inspiration
he's watched the darkness
night after night
after never ending nighttime fights for self worth
self worth
such peculiar words
such perfectly perilous and hopeful words
thats the way it seems to me anyways
i aspire to be like the moon
cause i couldn't go that many nights without breaking down
atlas not since you left town
i mean not since you decided that six feet underground is a better place to be
than around people like me and people that are there for you when you fall
but you didn't care about that at all did you?
you never cared about the moon did you?
you never meant to stay did you? you were always going to go away
weren't you?
you were always aching to get away from something whether it be
me, God or breathing
on January 9th i wrote a song titled just a girl
and on january 10th you made it all come true
i remember asking myself in the song
"what if I'm wrong?"
but i wasn't
now overtime i write something new
i think of you and how you'd tell me i was so innocent when i wrote
and that i was ignorant but in a cute way
which would make me uncomfortable so i'd say.
"hmmm thanks? haha"
and then you'd ask me about my day and i'd always say the sam answer
i did school, went to work, came home and wished for adventure
like i had when i was ten, i'd make up stories with my big brother who..
never finished any of our stories
.. i think i got my story telling from him
and i was with him when i got the news that you finally went away
i was 1,105 miles away
i didn't make it to your funeral
but i've written what it was like 1,106 times
with tears rushing from my eyes
screaming in my bed, why?
if you were never going to stay
then why did you come to me in the first place?
if you were always going to go away then why'd you make an effort to show me who you were?
was it all wasted time?
did i ever mean anything to you?
did you think about me or your family on that drive?
i still don't know if I'm angry or sad that you didn't try to call me one more time..

i wish you would have stayed
i wish you would have called me one more time
i wish you could have been okay
and i wish you would have said goodbye


from Funeral Thoughts EP, released February 22, 2017



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Forest Elmira, New York

Twitter- @CalebMadl


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